2017 - Kathy's Eulogy

In Loving Memory of Kathleen Alice Skinner- 78yrs old

2nd November 1939 – 3rd November 2017
 
Thank you so much for being here today to celebrate Kathy Skinner life, who will always be in our hearts forever.

Born in Blackhealth, South London, Kathy, childhood days were one of the best moments ever of her life. She always cherished and reminisces those times with her parents and siblings. Her family were her life.
Kathy loved working and meeting people and had a natural ability to turn her hand to any job. In her younger days she worked away in holiday camps, which she absolutely loved, plus she done waitressing, cinemas usherette, cleaner, bookies teller, an estate agents, a quality business administrator at Marconi, bartender, and lastly worked a decade for Harris Mori, as an regional area manager for market research. Kathy never stopped working and always wanted to learn which lead to her achieving her level 1 certificate in ICT, at the age of 70; as she was determine to keep up with the latest computer technology.

Kathy was also a member of the Ginger Bread group, a one parent family society, where family’s would get together and support each other. Kathy was a great organiser and became the entertainments events manager, where she arranged numerous events for mums, dads and their children. She also was very good at match making and set up many blind dates within the Ginger Bread group, leading to marriage, known as the Ginger weds! Little did she know she would also meet her future husband Ralph too.
 
Kathy loved her rock and roll music and loved to dance, together with her husband Ralph, they joined Rock Ola on Canvey Island, where they regularly attended dancing the night away.

Family has always been very important in her life and she loved and valued those precious moments with them. Kathy was always extremely interested in her maiden name Hipsey, and started researching her family tree descendance. She identified Hipsey family from Canada, Norfolk, Surrey, Kent, Essex and Plymouth.  A family get together, two years in the making, took place in Althrone, Essex, where Kathy and the Hipsey family were introduced and reunited.

Greenwich Park was Kathy’s favorite park and she especially loved the rose garden and listening to the brass band music that played at the center band stand. Kathy went on to arrange a family picnic day, on the last Sunday in July every year for the next 23 years. Kathy and Ralph were always the first ones to arrive and you were greeted with a cuppa. Games were arranged for the children and family and friends would catch up with each other. Kathy was at her happiest on these occasions and regularly sent reminders to all, plus sent newsletters after too. Kathy, daughter Lorraine will continue this Hipsey family tradition and her son Myles after, as we both knew how important this family event was to her.

Amazingly, Jeanette Hipsey, known as “The Hippo Lady” arrived from Plymouth unannounced at the Hipsey picnic during the year 1998. Jeanette had received a phone call from Edwin Hipsey who lived in Canada, connected to the Hipsey family tree, informing Jeanette that a Hipsey Greenwich picnic was taking place. The connection from the family tree was Jeanette was a distant cousin. During the year of 2000, Kathy became unwell, only to be diagnosed with a condition called Nephrotic Syndrome. It is caused by disorders that result in some type of damaged to the kidney, leading to abnormal excretion of protein in the urine.  This lead to Kathy having dialysis and medication for the next 4 years, visiting Southend renal unit, 3 times a week, for 4 hours dialysis sessions. She accepted her illness and coped remarkable well and never once complained that this weekly treatment had become part of life. Arrangements were also made in Cyprus for dialysis, as nothing was going to stop her having her yearly holiday away in Cyprus, in their holiday apartment with Ralph. Kathy was put on a Kidney transplant list and eagerly she waited, enduring infection after infection as she had no immune system to fight these diseases that attack her body time after time again.

A miracle then proceeded to happen, when Jeanette made the decision to donate her KIDNEY to Kathy, informing her in October 2005. What a wonderful, remarkable, respectful lady Jeanette is, which started a very special life time bond between them both. Kathy and Jeanette’s operations successful took place in June 2007, where Kathy was able to stop dialysis and lead a fairly normal life again. Little did we know that a long term hobby of Kathy tracing her family tree would come to save her life. Sadly, Jeanette Hipsey is unable to attend today due to ill health; however Peter Smerdon is here to represent her. Thank you Peter for making the long journey on her behalf. Kathy, Ralph, and Myles want to thank you so much Jeanette, no words cannot express how much you are loved and thought of, giving your kidney to Kathy, giving her a better quality of life for another 10 years. We all wish you a speedy recovery Jeannette. Jeanette has created her own website, in which tells this beautiful, unbelievable story. Website address is recorded at the end of order of service. 

Kathy was given a second opportunity in life, she cherish her grandson Myles and never stopped loving her other grandson Jesse. She loved her family and friends. However, her life wasn’t without its implications, the consent hospital visits and admissions, heaps of daily medication she had to take and most of all the lack of energy she prayed to have. Again this never stopped her fulfilling her life to the full. She loved to go swimming, taking Myles swimming too, plus out to various places/events. She also attended some weekly services at Southend Salivation Army, here she seeks comfort that gave her a boost to keep going in life.

Sadly, over the last 18 months Kathy health started to quickly deteriorate, as a cesarean cyst developed and grew so big that started to cause all sort of complications with other organs, plus affect her quality of life yet again. After many hospital admission again, she was finally referred to the Royal London Hospital and undertook a massive operation. The operation was a success; however her recovery bought on many other implications that sadly led to her passing peacefully from us. Our sense of loss is overwhelming and we will miss her more than words can say. If anyone deserved to recovery from her operation it was Kathy, who endured so much illness and operations over the last 16 years. 

Kathy was a wonderful, dynamic lady, once met never forgotten, who wanted to help other, even if you didn’t ask for help, she would still advise/tell you want you needed to know or do, whatever the topic/situation was. I’m sure on occasions she has upset family and friends, but it was never intentionally, it was because she loved and cared about everyone. Kathy knows that everyone here today, she has helped and touch your heart in some way or another.

We would like to express our heartfelt gratitude for the many phone calls, messages, cards, flowers, personal visits, words of comfort and prayers received from family and friends. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You have helped to lift us, and demonstrated how important family, loved ones and friends are in life.

Husband Ralph
Kathy and I met at a single nights in Basildon, a night she had been coaxed into going to and when the music started she was there on the dance floor. We danced all night and the relationship just grew and grew.

I was a loss soul before we met and Kathy showed me another side to life. After 3 months I asked if she would like to tie knot, she said “yes” and became my wife and soul mate for life. Our special relationship has lasted 34 years. We have had many adventures along the way, but she has always helped others, organise and got people motivated to achieve their goals in life.

In all the 16 years of Kathy ill health she has never really let it get her down, until the last 18 months, which really tested her, but still not complaining to all about it. I have lost a beautiful person, taken from us the day after her 78th birthday, after 5 weeks in hospital.

I am missing you so much, her ways, constant company, but she always had a sting in her tail being a Scorpio, but I loved you from the bottom of my heart. You are now at rest now my dearest Kathy, no more pain and suffering. Sleep on my dear one, missing you so much. I will never let you down.

Grandson Myles
Nana, over the years the countless things that you have done for me, provided for me, was to help me out in life.  It is now that I realise that all things that you have taught me has helped me become Myles. You encourage me to learn to swim and you and granddad provided me to start drama school, leading to a few parts on national television.

Nana you were always keen, you were always knaggy, persistent, but these are what made you Kathy Skinner, these are what made you my nana. Love you always and forever, your grandson Myles.

Daughter Lorraine
Mum you were my world and I don’t know where to start without you. How I’m I going to miss our daily chats. I can’t believe I won’t hear your voice again or see or hold you again. I have been so lucky and privilege to have an unforgettable mum like you in my life.

As a child growing up you always identified my strengths and encouraged me to develop my interests in all sports, art and even how to rock and roll. Being a one parent mum I know was extremely tough for you, but you done it and provided for me and never once did you let me down.

You have always guided and supported me in all I achieved in my career. You prepared me to manage money and become independent to survive the big wide world alone. You have always been by my side and also my loving husband Colin side too, bringing up our son Myles, your wonderful grandson that you are so proud of. Together we have had many wonderful memories, fun holidays and celebrated many special occasions such as family weddings, birthdays and births.

My mum was so special, because she always put others people before herself. Despite her illness she had the strength and the capability to always be there for others and believe in her family, that she loved unconditionally. She was wise, intelligent and witty and had a wealth of knowledge, any advice you gave us was always the correct advice and the right thing to do. I thank you for the bottom of my heart mum.

Mum you were so brave, having several operations during your life time to improve your quality of life, but now you don’t have to take no more tablets, no more sickness, no more infections, no more blood tests, no more hospitals, no more pain or suffering. 

The only comfort I have to help me cope life without you, is that the fact you are no longer suffering and that you now have plenty of energy. You have now been reunited with your mum, dad, brothers Bob, Edwin and your best friend Jinnie, who I know you have always dearly missed them all.

Lastly mum, I want to thank Ralph for the bottom of my heart for caring and looking after you especially over the last 16 years. I will promise to look after your Ralph always and forever.

Love you mum, I’m not saying goodbye to you because I know you will always be with me. Until we meet again.