Auntie Gert Continued....

{AEi}Auntie’s flat at the top of the house was still available to rent, so neighbours across the road, who were running out of space for their large family, negotiated a reduced rent so that their teenage daughter could live in the flat and also help Auntie get into bed – which was the one activity she could not manage, as she could not lift up her legs. This arrangement held for many months but, eventually, came abruptly to an end when Sarah moved out and Auntie spent a night sleeping in her armchair: obviously there had been some upsetting event (which I won’t enlarge upon). But before this, Sarah had taken Auntie Gert’s cat, Tina, aged 20 years, to the Vet to be put down - when Tina ceased to eat because her teeth were falling out, and she was obviously in great distress. Sarah and Auntie wept together.

Thereafter Keith helped Auntie get into bed. Keith and Marg lived just down the road from AG: in fact, AG had known Keith since he was a lad at the local Dr Banardo’s Home[1]. Both Keith and Marg knew Sarah – and met her wheeling her baby in a pushchair! Auntie Gert expressed the thought that ‘I’m glad it didn’t go on in my house’ . . . but, when she saw my face at this remark, she realised that I thought differently! Auntie had met Sarah’s boyfriend several times and understood that he occupied the ‘other’ bedroom on occasions (the bedroom vacated by the widow lady some years before).

In any event, I visited with my parents – having driven from Maidenhead round the Northern Loop of the M25 – which already was ‘not fit for the purpose’ the traffic-crawl being almost as bad as on the old North Circular Road. Daddy greeted Auntie Gert with ‘. . . Oh, I didn’t know you had a cat Gert!’ to which Mrs Hipsey almost snapped ‘. . . ‘really Charles, Gert has had a cat for years!’ which was partially true, but Tina had certainly not been in residence when Daddy had last visited. Also, Mummy informed Auntie that Daddy could not be any help with tidying the garden because he had not brought his gardening clothes with him. Auntie Gert observed to me ‘. . . your mother starts the moment she walks through the door, I bet she told your father not to bring his gardening clothes!’ And . . . my mother informed, whoever was available to hear, that she had suggested years ago that the downstairs outside toilet was ‘turned round’. Oh Dear – how do we all survive having families!

Auntie’s bed had been moved into the small living room at the back of the house; this room opened directly into her kitchen: these two small rooms became her living-quarters. Lionel Jarvis arranged for her to have an intercom attached to her front door so that callers could identify themselves before she released the lock to let them in. Lionel had been given a mandate, by his father, to pay a pension to, and ‘look out for’ the long-time employees still alive at Mr Jarvis Senior’s death. Auntie Gert outlived all the others and received this work pension for 30 years.

Auntie usually managed to get out of bed by herself - slowly – and swing herself into her wheelchair. She fell on the floor during this manoeuvre one day; she was able to alert Keith – fortunately it was a weekend day – after she spent about three hours wriggling towards the phone. And so . . . Keith and Marg visited local Residential Homes and – together with Lionel, who by this time was managing Auntie’s financial affairs – arranged Auntie Gert’s removal from her home of some 40 years to a Residential Home just over the border of the Ilford Local Authority in Chigwell{AEii}. This intervention of a borough boundary caused a ‘obstruction’ to Auntie’s continued attendance twice a week at Ilford Day Centre: this got sorted but, eventually, Auntie Gert made the decision to no longer attend. Lionel kept in touch with JH, and so Ann. With the help of Keith, in his position as key-holder, Lionel made the arrangements for the sale of the house.

On Auntie Gert’s 90th birthday, Ann and I visited her at the Home. Ann always made a celebration of family events and came prepared . . . with a box of night-light candles which she arranged on a tray in the figures ‘90’. Our little family gathering was held in the small smoking room off the main residents’ lounge, but I do wonder if my sister asked permission to light lots of candles – but then, 15 years ago, folks were not quite so paranoid about H&SAW! [Also. . . Auntie Gert had given up smoking several years ago, and the only other resident who smoked in this room, and had been a fighter pilot in the last War, had deceased.] JH ordered a cake from the super bakery in St Budeaux – this cake had been decorated with a most beautiful cat made out of fondant icing! Auntie’s half brother, Norman Finnie, and his wife Pat attended the party: although Ann and I were by this time aware that we had another uncle 19 years younger than his sister (omit the ‘half’) – this was a first-time meeting. A piece of cake was given to each resident at their tea time – and I’m sure ‘Happy Birthday’ was sung. Auntie Gert rallied and – I am sure - made a supreme effort to participate fully in all my sister’s arrangements for giving her a special 90th birthday.

Auntie Gert had been the last person – from England - to meet Mutter Elflein, Ann’s mother-in-law who was already very frail. When Auntie returned to England, she was heard to say that Mutter Elflein was an elderly lady ‘waiting to die’. There was a big family conference, after Ann had looked after Mutter Elflein for many months in the Family Elflein’s house - a decision was made that Mutter Elflein would live out her remaining days in a Nursing Home. Mutter Elflein died about 6 weeks later. My sister could hardly speak about her mother-in-law’s final few weeks - as she said that her mother-in-law starved to death because nobody would feed her. I felt very sad for my sister.

Auntie Gert was – by this time – non-committal when Ann or JH said ‘I’ll see you again . . .’ Eight months after Auntie Gert’s 90th birthday party JH received a phone call from Keith - who had been contacted by the Residential Home: Auntie Gert had ‘gone off’ her legs, and become confused: she was sent to the same hospital in which she had been initially nursed when she had her massive stroke. JH had trouble tracking her down as she had been re-registered on the computerised patient record system with her DOB a year adrift! In any event, Auntie Gert died in October 1998 very shortly after she had been admitted again. I had a talk with the Staff Nurse on duty when Auntie died, and again shortly afterwards: Staff Nurse could not have been kinder and so understanding with regards to my sister’s anxieties about Auntie’s ‘way to death’. And my sister went to the hospital when she was next in England and spoke to the Nursing Staff herself.

Gladys, a long-time friend of Auntie Gert, was at the funeral at West London Crematorium – together with Norman and Pat; Ann, Walter and their children Johannes, Stefanie, and Martin; a few Members of Staff from the Residential Home; and JH who was accompanied by long-time friend Mary – because JH had only just got over a severe attack of Shingles. JH did not wish to attend the religious service – so walked round the rows of flowers laid out – as it happens – by the Second World War Memorial. Gladys was heard to declaim that she was surprised that Gert had died of heart problems because she had understood that her friends heart was as sound as a bell! JH felt a tinge of surprise at this remark – but did not reply: surely at the age of 90 one’s heart is allowed to let its owner die? We all returned to the Guest House at which the Elflein Family were staying, and were the landlady provided a delicious tea. Unfortunately, Lionel Jarvis and his wife Molly did not arrive until after the service because the had been delayed by an accident on Dartford bridge – over the River Thames.

A few weeks later, Gladys, Ann, JH, and Norman and Pat, met at the Crematorium to collect Auntie’s Ashes and scatter them in the Rose Garden – as arranged. Ann scattered the ashes, and offered the urn to Norman who scattered the ashes as well. Subsequently we went to The Kenneth More Theatre in Ilford to have a cup of tea in a nice restaurant ‘without Formica tables’ as stated by Mrs Elflein. However, it was some years since the Theatre had closed its restaurant . . . so we went over to the café in Harrison’s and Gibson’s Department Store (which had burnt down and been rebuilt some years before). As we all got out of the lift on the appropriate floor – the first thing that Pat and JH noticed were . . . the Formica tables! We stifled our laughter - and had and enjoyable cup of tea!

My life would have been much poorer without Auntie Gert, and my sister Ann.

[1] In 2014 JH was told by Marg that, in actual fact, although Keith had been in the care of the local Social Services as a child he was not a Banardo's Boy.

{AEi}John and Barbara were Auntie's first lodgers until they moved to a house almost opposite.

{AEii}Auntie Gert's move to Chigwell:
I came over for three weeks to look for a home. I was given a list of homes in Ilford from I believe the town hall. A most depressing undertaking. Fortunately as my time was limited Marg and Keith new of 'Belmont Lodge' so Auntie and I took a taxi to see inside as the Ambulance never turned up, arriving unfortunately at lunch time.

A most alarming smart lady said to Auntie Gert you will like it here all smiles, what a welcome! on her way to the dining-room. After all the other depressing homes I heaved a sigh of relief. I had the impression that Auntie thought she was changing countries! I've been remembering if she did go once again to the day centre. The Merediths were looking after Auntie till Lionel arrived and contacted the Dr.

POSTSCRIPT

My Niece, Stefanie, visited me in September 2011; my Great niece Hanna, also came with her mother. Stefanie asked me if I could write an account of Ann's and my childhood; Ann had also made this request.

In October 2012 www.thehippoladv.co.uk was launched. In October 2013,1 added the Profiles of my two Godmothers, Auntie Bertha, and Auntie Sally; and of my maternal Aunt, Auntie Gert, to my website. These three ladies figured large during my childhood and schooldays.

Our Childhood Story is based upon actual events. However, NONE of the characters and incidents described, and NONE of the names are fictitious, and with respect to such characters and incidents, any similarity to the names, characters and history of any person living or dead, or any actual event, are NOT in the least co-incidental, and are fully intended - errors, omissions, and offence excepted.

Jeanette