Humour in Uniform

Extract from a page of Reader's Digest around 1990.

WHILST serving as a meteorological forecaster at a large naval air station, I noticed that contractors had been busy painting the corridor outside my office.
On the door, under the notice "Meteorological Office," hung a sign saying "Wet Paint" to which an anonymous hand had added, "Becoming drier later."

Lieutenant S. J. Hipsey RN,
Stubbington, Hampshire

DURING his service in the Navy my father trained Prince Charles on an aircrew survival course at HMS Heron in Yeovilton. The Prince arrived wearing a pair of old overalls only to be told that the route was lined with people waiting to receive "the wave." When the Prince remarked that he wasn't dressed for the occasion, my father offered, in jest, to stand in for him. "No you won't," Prince Charles replied. "I'm going to be King. I need the practice."

Philippe Clifford,
Bournemouth, Dorset

FOR nearly two hours, I had been interpreting every word at a particularly exacting signals conference at Allied Land Forces Headquarters in Fontainebleau. My mouth was dry and my throat ached. Translating the next remark of the senior French Colonel, I added casually, "And the Colonel suggests we have a break now." "Tell the Colonel I second that," said the Chief Signals Officer in his Yankee drawl. A few moments later, as I collected my coffee, I bumped into one of the French majors. "Great idea, Sergeant," he grinned, "but be careful. My Colonel is taking English lessons."

H. L. M., Market Harborough,
Leicestershire

IN NEW GUINEA during the Second World War, alcoholic beverages were in short supply so my father and his fellow soldiers made their own "Jungle Juice." The recipe was simple: knock out the eye of a coconut, add some dates and other available fruit, then raw alcohol to taste, seal and let ferment until done. How did they know it was ready? Easy. They made batches of three. When the first exploded, the other two were ready.

Dennis Primrose,
Kowloon, Hong Kong